I just loved this forward that Jenny Coates sent me! Seriously almost cried. Do you guys relate to this a little? Anyway, I thought of "us" and hope you like it :)
"I'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way
one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be
taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"
Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or
sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no
one can see me at all. I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?
Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands;
I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?"
I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?"
I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they
had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going
... she's going ... she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she
was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare
and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the
only thing I could find that was clean.
My unwashed hair was pulled up in a clip and I was afraid I could actually
smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned
to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
1) No one can say who built the great
cathedrals - we have no record of
their names.
(2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
(3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
(4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside
of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the
roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I
heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've
done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to
notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right
now what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and
presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home.
And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the
sacrifices of invisible women.
God Bless You as you build
your Cathedrals!"
Sending a great big HUG to you all ------------------------>
7 comments:
That was wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing it Jenny! Isn't it funny how you think you're the only one with kids that suddenly seem demanding and full of fits when you're on the phone? It made me laugh to read I'm not the only mom thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Hope you're all well! Britt
Very nice!! It is so true! I've said that with every child I have obviously less and less time for myself...and that is just the way it should be, that is what this life is about. My good friend also always says that if you are constantly making decisions based on what is best for your children, then you are always making the right decisions-so true. Thanks for sharing Jenny!
It says so much. I've spent hours thinking about the different person I've become since having kids and this explains how I feel. My sister asked me once why I didn't watch the same movies or listen to the same music anymore and it was so hard to explain that it just didn't even matter anymore. I had different, better goals in mind and that lifestyle had no part of it and that it wasn't hard to give up because there was a promise of something better. Anyway, bla, bla, bla, loved the story. Thanks Jen.
Thanks! It always good to have a remind of what is really important in life. Kami
I can relate to how she got together with friends and felt like her wardrobe and hair was an after thought. While she felt that way I'm sure her husband was wearing clean clothes and had recently showered. I feel like such a slob a lot but I guess that builders are dirty all the time as well. I can use this to drive me on for a little while. By the way I am really, really missing girls night.
Jenny I loved that thanks for sharing. I am so glad we have this online support group, sometimes it is just what I need to read when I am totally on the line and about to be a runaway mom.
Thanks,
Jill
I finally read your post... I loved it. Thanks Jenny, that really touched me. nice to be reminded of what really matters
love, Rachel
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